It sucked.

The roads suck. Today sucked. My job sucks. 

These are the words I said to myself on my drive home one snowy afternoon. I just had a long day. I just had a long week. I just had a long year and a half. 

The place I spent most of my time was the place that was tearing me down. On that day, a student was being difficult despite all of my time spent on them. The day before a student had a complaint about me. The week before I got feedback from my boss that my attitude was poor. 

Anyone that looks at me knows it is hard. 

I felt the devil surrounding my life. 

He made my work hostile. 

He made my life hard. 

On the day that I was driving home trying to save my tears for the privacy of my home I felt the devil at work. 

How many days did I have to ask God to remove Satan from my life? How many times did I need to plead to Him on my knees? 

Why me? 

I remember the day I started this job. I knew the spiritual warfare was coming. I saw it everywhere and felt evil everywhere. 

Now, I know you are thinking that I should have known when I applied for the job and interviewed. I remember that day, it was awesome. I was full of excitement and knew I would be on the next adventure in this place. 

But after a year. A long year. My heart can only cry to the Lord. 

As I write this, I want so badly to say something like, “10 ways to get through a bad day/week/month/year.” But I don’t have the solution. I cannot pretend that I handled this season well.

Overtime I did see how I was handling the situation better. Progress. 

At first I would come home, turn on the TV and eat, drink, and eat more. That progressed to excessive weight gain. My body was not my temple and emotional eating is not my happiness. 

In 2019, I started a new nutrition program and started to lose weight. At the time this day had come up, I was healthy and newly refreshed. I wanted to stay that way despite this horrible day. On this day, I heard Jesus say, “Turn to me.” My Bible was in front of me. But I couldn’t. I was mad. 

I also heard Satan tell me to eat, drink, and sit in front of the TV. I wanted it to all be SILENT.

I wish I could say I opened my Bible, got on my knees, and fell into Jesus. But I can’t. 

I made a healthy dinner and ate some Halo Top. I continued working and listened to worship music. 

Was it a perfect solution? No. Was it Jesus centered? No. 

So I bring to you today, what are the things that hurt you that you turn to in need? Food? TV? What are your sin areas? Bring this to someone and share your heart.